I realized today how down and discouraged I’ve been the past few days, very unlike how I usually am, the eternal optimist. I know, I know…I’m not alone in the darkness!
As I was walking, I looked up and saw a bit of blue sky stunningly framed by a white cloud and a darker one, quite beautiful and so normal a thing in life; at that moment I realized I have been cutting myself off from so much of life and the price was being deeply afraid and angry—flipsides of the same emotion really.
Then I realized—and this was my breakthrough—I was afraid of things that might happen in the future or, honestly, based on the crazy events of the past week,things that probably will happen in the future. But what sense does it make to be afraid or angry about something that has not even happened, that only might happen in the future? We all know there is plenty to worry about today, and plenty to do that might influence the future in a positive way.
So that bit of blue sky turned me around. I thought about having been with my grandchildren this past week. We built a wonderful little tree house. Simon had a plan, which we (mostly) followed, and it turned out to be, in his words “my dream come true!” Now we did have concerns about safety and so we did plan for how high off the ground it should be to reduce damage from a fall. But life has some risks! I can worry about when that fall might happen and, honestly, it is probably inevitable it will happen, but it hasn’t yet. In the meantime we made it only five feet off the ground and we had several long discussions about safety. I can still worry, but it will not change the future and it isn’t much fun either.
We also had a lot of fun playing cards this week. It was fascinating that Simon, nearly five, started off just enjoying playing and not really caring about winning. By week’s end with the influence of 7-year old sister, Lily, and whatever subtle messages DeeDee and Grampa were giving him, winning was more important and losing was even more important. Isn’t it fascinating how we learn these things in life? And what is the cost in the long haul?
We had some great times together (and some not so great, of course) and I know this is how I want my life to be. I don’t want to worry about the next tweet or the twerp who is tweeting, and rather than worry, I know I’ll do what I can today—and tomorrow and the next days ahead—to make sure all people have a peek at that bit of blue sky that is truly what life is (on most days anyway). Phew! Thank you bit of blue sky!